Now and Then

Stepping outside the fresh air-conditioned hotel, the warm humid sea air awakens me to what feels like a whole new atmosphere. I cross the hectic road to approach the beach that welcomes me with open arms. Inhaling the salty fresh sea air with the odd scent of seaweed, a summer breeze brushes past my sun-kissed skin as my feet sink into the soft sand.  I glance at the beach as it glistens in the mild morning heat, surrounded by white pristine buildings that stand tall watching over the luxurious land below. The sun starts to rise higher into the blue, dreamy sky as the heat gets more severe, sweat seeps out of my skin. Like a magnet, the beachfront cafes attract the morning walkers with their tempting, fruity, cooling smoothies and other breakfast delights. Sitting outside the cafe I feel relaxed and comfortable as if there’s nothing at that moment that matters. As I sip on my cooling berry smoothie, I feel an instant burst of energy, so I bound back to the hotel to go for a swim. Through the automatic doors, transcending up the elevator and into the room, I make a quick change into my togs and retreat back down to the ground floor. Swiping the key to get into the pool I see the reflection of the palm trees on the surface of the water, which sits peacefully trapped in by brick walls separating the pool from the rest of the world. The pool awaits to be disrupted by crazy children who are buzzing with enthusiasm. Eager to cool off, I jump into the refreshing liquid which soothes my slightly burnt skin that has caused me so much grief this morning. The water is clear as crystal and the coolness causes goose bumps to shimmy up my body.  I swim until I start to feel lethargic, it is time to escape the madness. I carefully dry my fragile scorched skin and decide to embrace the piercing sun. Lying in the 30-degree heat, lathered in layers and layers of sunscreen my eyelids start to get heavier and all my thoughts seem to disappear within a second.

Getting ready for the night ahead, I meticulously slip on my flowy evening dress and tie back my thick, irritating hair with a silky scrunchie. Sliding my fake Birkenstocks on, my family and I head out the door and across to the main street into the darkness, intrigued by the mix of people of diverse ethnicities. The street is lit up like a Christmas tree, differing colours of fairy lights adorn the palm trees and catch my eye from a mile away. Below the fairy lights, people scurry like a trail of ants, finding their way from one end of the street to the other.   I feel exhausted trying to keep up with my family but finally, we find a restaurant we all love. As we stroll in and approach the bar, I look around and see holidaymakers sinking back their alcoholic beverages, as the waitress leads us to our outside table. We order from the menu, I can’t go past the barbecue spare ribs.  I wait in anticipation, sipping at my water, looking around at the groups of exuberant diners. The noise of happy conversation echoes through the building and down the street. I look out over the beach, the darkness creates a sense of mystery. The swimmers have deserted, leaving trails of footprints in the sand. Out on the horizon, I see small flickers of light, boats from afar.  Our dinner arrives, so nourishing and fulfilling after a day of activities. Time to walk back, the stars glisten and the moon hovers over the ocean creating a reflection of calmness and tranquillity. Daylight evaporates as night prevails, the beach sleeps, a contrast to the hustle of earlier.

2 Replies to “Now and Then”

  1. Hi Anna,

    You have a good plan here! I think you will find that spending the time brainstorming your thoughts during the early stages of the writing process useful.

    I am really enjoying the imagery being developed in your opening lines, it makes me want to go on holiday!

    Be mindful of your syntax. At times, your sentences are incomplete and this makes your work seem clumsy. Reading your writing out loud to yourself during the editing stage will help you to catch the errors.

    Look to develop your idea throughout the paragraph. Avoid only discussing something in a single sentence. When you comment on things in conjunction to other ideas further in your paragraph, the development of that thing/idea is stronger and shows you have thought about the details of your scene with purpose.

    Mrs. P

  2. Hi Anna,

    During the final periods of this assessment I encourage you to:

    Correct your syntax errors. You have incomplete sentences in this piece. Remember, every sentence needs a subject.
    Look to vary your sentence types. At the moment, you are using a repetitive structure and this makes your work sound listed. You are frequently opening your sentences with a verb. Look at how you can change this to increase the flow of your writing.
    Show your scene through your language choices and figurative devices. At the moment, you aren’t letting your reader imply any of the details through your writing.

    Mrs. P

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